How do I get started planning a funeral or memorial service?

Death can be a stressful time for family and friends, and planning a service can seem overwhelming. But there are many people who will help you along the way, including medical staff, church leaders, and funeral home staff.

While your loved one is alive:

Consider asking them about their wishes. Having a written plan will make it easier for you to organize the service. If your loved one has a serious illness, they may have been thinking about their funeral or memorial service. Help them discuss and write down their wishes. Your local funeral home can help you start making a plan for your funeral service. If you are religious, contact your house of worship. They will let you know of any ceremonies or traditions that should be included.

Consider choosing a funeral home. It may be less stressful to check on funeral homes before your loved one dies. The funeral home will take care of the body and help you plan the service. However, it’s okay if you don’t choose a funeral home ahead of time.

When your loved one passes away:

Follow this list of steps that are commonly used to plan a service in the United States. Some of the steps may be different if your loved one had certain wishes or belonged to a faith or culture that has other ways to mourn a death.

1. First, report the death. Call a funeral home to pick up the body, or if you don’t know of a funeral home, call 9-1-1. If your loved one died at a hospital, nursing home, or hospice center, the staff will lead you through the steps.

2. Work with a funeral home. The funeral director will:

• Fill out and file the death certificate with the proper authorities
• Transport and store the body until the service takes place
• Help you choose the type of service that’s best for your loved one, whether it takes place at the funeral home, a place of worship, or somewhere else. To learn more about planning the service, see What should I include in a funeral or memorial service?
• Help you write an obituary (announcement of your loved one’s death) to send to your local newspaper, place of worship, and to be posted online by the funeral home

3. Choose a final resting place for your loved one’s body or ashes. The funeral director can help you figure out who to call for any of these choices:

• If the body will be buried in a casket (coffin), call a cemetery at your place of worship or in your town to reserve a burial plot
• If the body will be above ground in a casket, call a mausoleum to reserve a space
• If the body will be cremated (burned into ashes), call a cremation service. They can tell you about options for what to do with your loved one’s ashes, such as keeping them in an urn or scattering them in a special place.

4. Figure out what type of funeral or memorial service you can afford. The funeral director can give you costs and tell you about options that might save money. It might cost between $5,000 - $8,000.

• If you cannot afford a funeral, you can sign a release form at your county’s coroner's office. The state will cover the costs of a basic funeral service.